Rachel is a birthmom and she is awesome. I had the chance to do a school adoption presentation with her recently and she is such a great adoption advocate and was nice enough to share her adoption story with us. So, here it is! Part 1...
"I have been absolutely blessed by adoption and I just want to shout it out to everyone, I LOVE ADOPTION! I will admit, before I started this process, I had no knowledge about adoption and I had heard all of the myths out there. I remember thinking to myself; if I were to ever get pregnant I would never place my baby for adoption. I wouldn’t be strong enough for that. I couldn’t imagine my child growing up with anyone other than me, and I knew my own mother would not let me place her grandchild. Boy, I never would have guessed my view on this would have changed so drastically!
To start my story, I will take you back to where it all began. I had met this boy in high school and we would hangout because we had mutual friends, but nothing really came from it. After I graduated, we found ourselves hanging out more and more, which turned into dating and eventually making it official as a couple. I thought he was great, and at first he treated me like a princess. We had one big difference between us, and that was religion. He knew I went to church every week and I wanted to get married in the Temple. Seeing my Faith and love of the LDS religion made him curious. He asked to meet with missionaries and agreed to take the discussions. He was eventually baptized as a member of my church, and during this process he lost both of his jobs and moved in with my family. He received the Priesthood and a calling; things were going great! At this point we had started talking marriage, but knew that it probably wouldn’t be for a little while. Even though I have my standards and I knew what I wanted for my future, temptation got the best of me. I ended up pregnant in the winter of 2010. I was very scared and ashamed at first, but everyone was so supportive! We met with our Bishop and decided to get officially engaged and plan our wedding, and a year after marriage we would go through the Temple together. Being in and out of the hospital because of my pregnancy I thought it was best to wait until after the baby was here to get married. We may have made a mistake, but I was going to try to make something positive from it. We were starting to get things ready to begin our new family, but in the back of my head I had an uneasy feeling. I would meet with my Bishop, talk to friends and family, but I would always get the same type of response. “You’re pregnant, emotional, and very hormonal—it is all in your head.” I didn’t think it was all in my head, but I tried to move past it. I would pray and ask for guidance from my Heavenly Father, and I got my answer in a roundabout way during a Conference talk in April 2011. I could have sworn Elder Packer’s talk was directed at me! I took his message of just ‘Leave it alone’ to heart and that maybe everything was just all in my head. The next day I tried to have a conversation with the birthfather apologizing for having these thoughts and feelings. Well, my Heavenly Father didn’t want me to take the blame for something that wasn’t my fault and the truth came out that very next day. After having quite the blow up and finding out the truths about the man I was about to marry and start a family with, I decided it was best that we call off the wedding."
To be continued...
