"On October 26th, I am pretty sure I cried all day long. I wanted to have this baby more than anything.
Why wasn't she coming?
Why was she taking so long?
That night, while I was laying next to my mom and complaining, (this had been a regular occurrence lately) She got up and said "I'm hungry. Let's go to Mcdonalds" I looked at her, confused. "Okay..."
she then told me to put on some tennis shoes because we were walking there.
Normally I would have been against this little idea, but I knew that it would have to do SOMETHING for me to walk that far. It was at least 3 miles away.
We walked all the way, my mom was so patient with me. I complained about my situation the whole way there and cried. She simply just listened and talked to me about it.
That day, I came to the conclusion that my mom is truly my best friend. No one else would have put up with me like she was.
When we got to McDonalds I had blisters on my feet. My mom called my dad and had him pick us up so that we didn't have to have to walk all the way home.
The next day, Dustin Andrea and I decided to meet for dinner and then go to my house afterwards to play games. We did this every week. For dinner, we decided to go to the little Chinese restaurant by my house.
While we were eating I had my first real contraction.
I wasn't sure if I should get excited or not because I had been getting contractions for weeks and nothing was happening.
On the way back to my house I had another one. These contractions were all a lot more intense. When we arrived at my house, we started setting up the game. This was when I started having them close to 5 minutes apart.
My mom kept saying that I was faking it. I began trying to convince her that I really was having them. "you told me earlier today that you were going to fake it." she said.
That was true. But I wasn't faking it.
My Dad on the other hand said he believed I was going to have her by the next day. My mom decided that we would go for a walk in the park, and if I was still having them we would go to the hospital.
Dustin and Andrea pulled out their camera and started taking pictures. They didn't want to miss anything if this was for real.
We walked to the park and back. Sure enough, I was still having them. The feeling that surrounded us was so intense. You could feel every one's excitement, and anxiety.
When we finally decided to go to the hospital, Dustin and Andrea followed behind us all the way there. At one point they called and asked if we thought this was really it.
When we arrived, the nurse checked me and announced that I was dilated to a 1 and 70% effaced. I was SO HAPPY. Even though it was only a 1, at least it was something! She then proceeded to tell me that if it's not a three, they have to get permission from the Doctor to keep me there.
We were so anxious. I was praying that they would admit me. It was 11:00 pm, so they had to ask the doctor working the graves that night.
When he finally came in,
he said that because I hadn't been thinned at all at my last appointment,
he said that because I hadn't been thinned at all at my last appointment,
he would admit me and start me on medicine to speed up the process.
I looked over at Dustin and Andrea. I couldn't help but feel excited for them. They were grinning. I couldn't believe that it was finally here!
The Doctor proceeded to tell Dustin and Andrea that it would be a while until I had the baby, and recommended that they go home and get a good nights rest, because it would probably be their last. They gave me a hug, wished me luck, and left.
That night was painful. The medicine they gave me was definitely making my contractions extremely painful. I couldn't sleep. My mom was there with me sleeping on the little bench by the window. I tried really hard to be quiet because I knew that she needed her sleep, but I was in pain. I cried a lot. I wanted the epidural, but every time the nurse would come in and check me, she would say that nothing had changed. I had to be dilated to a 3 in order to receive an epidural.
at around 7 am, they checked me again and told me that I was dilated to a 3 and that my doctor would be there in an hour. what?? no I wanted the epidural NOW.
They explained that before I received my epidural, my Dr. had to check me and approve.
It was the longest hour of my life.
Once he came he checked me, and confirmed that I could proceed with the epidural. Within minutes the anesthesiologist was in my room.
The second the pain was gone, I wanted to hug him.
I thanked him, and fell right to sleep.
I was in and out of consciousness the whole day. I was so tired, but Dustin and Andrea were there, and so was my family. I didn't want to just sleep. At 2 pm, the nurse came in and checked me. She told me that I was dilated to a 9!
yay!
I was so excited!
She then checked to make sure Avery was facing the right direction.
She wasn't. She was facing up instead of down.
The nurse got my doctor and for the next few hours they worked on turning her around. They thought they had gotten her turned, and by about 5:00, the doctor came in and she had flipped back around completely. Finally he just turned her really quickly, and then left to go help perform a c-section.
About a minute later, he came running back into my room and said "Her heart rate is dropping, it's baby time."
I wanted Dustin and Andrea there to see their daughter born. They stood up by my head and watched as Avery was born. It was the most spiritual experience I have ever had in my life.
It all happened so fast.
I remember looking over at Dustin and Andrea as they walked in. Within minutes Dr. Terry held up a beautiful baby girl, and she started crying.
Avery Leigh.
born at 5:17 pm, on October 28th 2008.
I sat in awe and stared at her. She had ten fingers. Ten toes. She had 2 arms and 2 legs. What a miracle she was.
They then laid Avery on my chest. I held on to her. I couldn't stop crying, or staring at her. Dustin and Andrea cut the chord and the nurse wrapped her in a blanket. I immediately pulled her to my chest. I couldn't stop staring at her. Her beautiful eyes.
I didn't ever want let her go.
I looked up for the first time since she was born. Dustin and Andrea were standing there with tear stained faces just staring at her. I looked at my mom. She was crying.
I asked Andrea if she wanted to hold her. "no, you can hold her." she said. I could tell she was just aching to hold her daughter. I looked down at my beautiful Angel again, and then gave her to Andrea. "You can hold her."
Watching Andrea gently take her from my arms and hold her for the first time was amazing. I will forever remember that moment. She was so in love with this little Angel. This was her daughter.
Andrea and Avery both just stared at each other the whole time. The spirit was so strong. We all just sat and watched this tender moment.
The next person to hold her was Dustin. If anyone has ever seen a new father hold his little girl for the very first time, you can comprehend maybe a little as to how touching this was. What an amazing father Dustin was. They stared into each others eyes forever. Avery knew this was her dad.
They placed her back in my arms after this, and I just stared at her again. She was beautiful.
The next day, exactly 24 hours after Avery was born, I signed relinquishment papers. Normally you do this when you are placing her, but because of issues with the birth father, I didn't want to risk anything. I signed them as soon as possible.
This was the hard part. Listening to every word they would read, and signing all of those papers killed me. I held Avery in my arms while I did this. I never wanted to let her go. They read every word out loud. They said things like,
"After signing these papers you will no longer have any rights to this child."
and
"Signing these papers indicate that you will no longer be her mother."
and
"This takes every right you have to this baby away"
and
"All your rights will be terminated. Relinquished."
It was like they were looking for every word they could possibly think of that would rip my heart out. It killed me. At the very end, they asked me to explain why I was doing this. are you serious? I thought. "Is that really necessary?" my dad asked. They explained that it was because I had to show that I was not being coerced into doing this.
I was crying, bawling. I could hardly talk and they wanted me to explain to them why I was doing this!? All I could say was, "Because I love her. and I want her to have a mom and a dad that love each other." I hugged her tighter.
Once that was over I took a deep breath. Considering the situation, I could not believe how calm I felt. I knew what I was doing, but it was okay. I knew without a doubt that this was the right thing. I didn't have any second thoughts. Not at all. I couldn't believe it.
The next day I had all to myself. I asked that I have no visitors. I wanted to spend time with her. Just me and Avery. I wanted to hold her and be her mom for one day. I can honestly tell you that I hardly slept the entire time I was at the hospital. I probably had about 3 hours of sleep all together. I didn't WANT to sleep.
I wanted to look at her.
Play with her.
Sing to her.
Hug her.
Hold her.
Feed her.
I didn't have time to sleep. I could hardly tell that I was even tired.
On October 30th, 2008 at 5:00 pm Dustin and Andrea Arrived to pick up their baby girl.
I felt at peace with all of it. I was so calm. There were tears, throughout my entire hospital stay, yes. But when it came the time for me to give her to them, I was okay. I was at peace. The spirit was strong. I felt Angels surrounding all of us.
Watching her mom and dad hold her the day we left was even more comforting.
They loved her so much. I Knew she was in the best hands, and would be loved unconditionally, just like I had hoped for.
About an hour after they arrived, I gave Avery another big kiss and huge hug, and placed her in Andrea's arms.
Andrea put her in her car seat. I stood up gave both her a Dustin a huge long hug, and sat in the wheelchair outside my door.
On the car ride home, I cried. I cried for days. But I never second guessed my decision. From the moment I met Dustin and Andrea I knew she was theirs. From the moment she was born, I knew she was theirs. I love Avery more than I thought I could ever love someone. She is my little Angel. She has truly changed my life for the better.
These things that have happened to me are pieces of me. They have made me who I am today.
I am truly blessed to have met such amazing people. I am so happy to have found the perfect couple for Avery. I am so happy that through adoption, I have a relationship that will last forever.
Dustin and Andrea are not just friends. They are like family.
I am so grateful to them for being so willing to have an open adoption with me.
It's so wonderful to always know how Avery is doing. It's so great that I can watch her grow up. She is truly my Angel sent from heaven, and the most loved and spoiled little girl I know."
To find out more about Andee, go read her blog here. You will love to find out that since this story, she has married a wonderful man and they just recently had a baby girl!
Thank you so much, Andee, for letting us share your story!!!!
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